Episode 2: It’s Goin’ Down
Audio Transcript

SPEAKERS – Hayley Smith-Rose and Becca Howard

Becca  00:04
Welcome to Fever Dream Diaries, a podcast where we take you back to the early aughts to revisit our high school experience but also what the hell was going on in the world. This is episode two. Thank you so much for joining us. My name is Becca and I’m here with my BFF Hayley.

Hayley  00:20
The saga continues here Becca and I feel like it’s not appropriate to talk about our freshman year in high school without really highlighting the biggest event that happened to us. Not even just in high school, but of our lives.  That was the freshman year election.

Becca  00:39
The Quad Threat baby

Hayley  00:41
The Quad Threat, which we will dive into, was out and ready and really thirsty for blood

Becca  00:49
We were the first feminist girl gang of the millennium.

Hayley  00:53
Let’s just put that out there. So me and Becca became so close so fast in high school that our freshman year we decided that us along with two other young ladies were all going to run for freshman class roles, so you know like President, Vice President, Treasurer, Secretary. You and I remained friends. The other two gals who shared the same name, but we’re not going to say it, we can just call them Jane

Becca  01:19
Jane Doe

Hayley  01:20
Yeah the two Jane DOE’s

Becca  01:23
I don’t know where they’re at 

Hayley  01:26
You know what that election brought back in I closer than ever, and I have no regrets.

Becca  01:30
I’m so glad that I’m holding a original copy of our freshman year poster

Hayley  01:37
These items belong in a museum like Becca said she literally has not just one copy, I have my own copy that she made for me. We have multiple copies of the poster that we created for this election that we posted all around the school. We should post this on our social media, but we’ll blur out the Jane Does. Whatever. We’re the stars of the poster so it doesn’t matter. It says it’s going down on it like Yung Joc

Becca  02:08
Was 2006 an election year? Because I wrote rock the VOTE and I feel like that was like a vibe from 2004. 

Hayley  02:21
Like Diddy could sue you right now.

Becca  02:25
Right? I feel like we need to break down this poster fully.

Hayley  02:29
Okay, so first of all, just to set the scene I as expected was the one running for President because naturally I’m always trying to be the main character. So I was in that role. The Jane Does were vice and treasurer in you or Madame Secretary,

Becca  02:45
I had won secretary in fourth grade

Hayley  02:47
So that’s why you felt like that should be your role like you had it in the bag probably since that.

Becca  02:53
Yeah. And when I told my sister that we were like reminding ourselves about the election she asked me if I remembered my slogan in fourth grade which was “Don’t be a Coward, Vote for Howard.” That’s actually really cute

Hayley  03:05
That’s actually really good! You had elections in the fourth grade?

Becca  03:09
And I had a real role, like I was responsible for all of the organization the note taking for the school… not the school, the class

Hayley  03:17
so that’s what the Secretary does

Becca  03:19
that is what the Secretary does. Do you remember that too legit to quit was like our anthem? 

Hayley  03:27
Yes, yes.

Becca  03:29
We have like too legit to quit hand signals in this poster, you’re doing peace signs in every single thing

Hayley  03:35
and that is very 2006. And I’m still too legit to quit. You really are. So no regrets there. But I will say this year the reunion is going to be at a country club. And I just feel like if you and I were planning it, it would I mean, it’d be ratchetj, it’d be more on that side of things.

Becca  03:53
Can I daresay it would be in your dad’s garage? 

Hayley  03:56
It’d be my dad’s garage, because that’s where all the fun parties were. I was gonna say either that or the Amber Room, but I don’t think the Amber Room still exists.

Becca  04:04
I mean, luckily, Leda Lanes does still have Keggler’s Den

Hayley  04:08
Okay, we’re gonna get into all that because we need to talk about my dad’s garage parties. We need to talk about how much time we spent at Leda Lanes. It was unhealthy, it was unruly – but first let’s really dissect this election because I think this was a turning point for all of us involved. The Quad Threat, if you will. So that was what we called the four of us because we were obviously so threatening. We must have gotten made fun of so much behind our backs.

Becca  04:33
I look back at this poster.

Hayley  04:37 
It’s actually crazy how much people must have made fun of us behind our backs.

Becca  04:40
I am like doing the duck lips in every photo,

Hayley  04:43
I guess in our defense. Yes, there’s a lot of peace signs. A lot of duck lips going on. But that was the vibe – it was not like we were uncool. My scrunched hair. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I had the best scrunched hair in the school

Becca  04:58
Effortless. Not the crunch it was like soft curls

Hayley  05:01
Exactly. So like, you know, come at me can you scrunch your hair better than me? No, then you can’t battle with me. That was my vibe in high school. So as embarrassing as this is to look back at whatever I really commend our confidence.

Becca  05:18
Yeah, it’s a moment in time that we now have this archival document of and I’m proud of us for, you know, trying we put ourselves out there. Can I just ask you in the copy you have of the poster, is there like weird drawings on our faces and stuff? That was probably my sister like, graffitiing my work

Hayley  05:39
I was gonna overlook that. But I just assumed it was part of our situation at the time. Um, but yeah, there was a lot of devil ears and mustache situations happening.

Becca  05:49
I mean, this is a little bit of a tangent, but part of the reason I wanted to find that your books from like middle school in high school is, Do you remember we used to draw all over them?

Hayley  05:58
We did. why did we do that? We did ruin them. And it wasn’t kind things we were writing. I hate to say.

Becca  06:05
Yeah, once I didn’t find those. I wasn’t too upset. That’s probably for the best

Hayley  06:09
Those should not be unearthed. But the election. I think it was pivotal in our friendship. And I’m glad you have the poster. A lot of notes that I’ve seen reference the election, but what I really think we should unearth for everybody is our speeches.

Becca  06:27
Yep. I agree. I got them right here, girl.

Hayley  06:31
I can’t believe it. I feel like I’m in a time machine because this speech is something that I never thought I’d see. Again. I’ve spent years of therapy trying to actually black out the trauma that this situation brought to us. But you know what? We’re here having fun with it. And the reunion is coming? Did we read these not only here but at the reunion? Definitely.

Becca  06:50
Maybe this podcast will be live by then. And we can just blast it out into the here we go. Yeah. Do you have an autograph signing table? Give the people what they really want. If you weren’t lucky enough to get my yearbook signature the one year I was at Northwell calm now, because this is your last chance at

Hayley  07:10
“Hags” – I will write hags for you and that’s it. Alright. Do you want to read your secretary speech first?

Becca  07:19
Oh my god. Yes. Okay. All right. So I have my speech here. There is some like handwritten notes, but I printed it like originally. So I’m just gonna read it off as it is.

Hayley  07:31
And to paint a picture to really set the scene. We’re reading these onstage in an auditorium in front of probably I mean, we went to a big school. So I would say three to 400 kids were in the audience. That was the freshman class size. Realistically, yes, it was a pretty big audience. We were reading this too. And I just feel like, I want people to know that we read this in front of that many people

Becca  07:56
I’m standing up right now. Stretching, I need to like get back into the moment or I read this to my peers. I was fully dissociating. You had already learned how to do that. Before this moment. I’m gonna give you guys a good college. Try this. Hi, my name is Becca Howard. And I’m running for freshman class secretary. I know that most of you out there aren’t very interested in why I’m running by here are a few reasons why it definitely be a good idea to vote for me one. I’m incredibly organized. It’s practically OCD. You want a secretary who can get things done. I’m an unbelievable multitasker. I can do like five things at once or more if I have two, three, I’m part of the Quadra. And we’re basically amazing. So both for me, Becca, Howard. It just makes sense. Oh, and if you’re cool, you’ll vote for the rest of the Quadra to Smith-Rose for President Jane Doe for vice president and Jane Doe for treasurer thinks and then there’s one other line that I like added in at the end and I’m like I guess I crossed out the it’s practically OCD and I wrote in I’ll keep track of important stuff and I won’t lose anything. I promise. I promise.

Hayley  09:08
The OCD line was scandalous.

Becca  09:13
So I knew what OCD was.

Hayley  09:15
I mean, how did you know you have it? 

Becca  09:17
How did I know? I mean I did.

Hayley  09:19
You were so intuitive. 

Becca  09:22
I feel like this really like set the scene for my future.

Hayley  09:27
I think the beautiful thing that really came of this is how clear our camaraderie was. We were going hard for the Quad Threat and really, you know, we didn’t care how we looked because of it. We just really thought that was it. And you honestly are good multitasker.  My favorite line is, “I can do like five things at once or more if I have to.”

Becca  09:52
So true. If you’ve ever worked as a bartender, if you’ve ever worked in customer service, you know how to do seven things at once.

Hayley  10:00
But it’s just funny because you hadn’t done those things. You were just setting yourself up for for success

Becca  10:07
Or failure. Like weirdly I had OCD. Like that’s sad. I mean, I don’t anymore. But like, as a kid, I definitely showed OCD symptoms. So like, I was just very self aware, I guess, you know, I’ve never gone to a psychiatrist. So I don’t know how I knew that phrase. 

Hayley  10:24
we were self aware in some ways, but so un-self aware in others.  

Becca  10:28
The fact that I got up on the stage and just like said this with the confidence and the earnestness, like, “I know most of you aren’t interested in why I’m running.” It’s like, true. That is true. Yeah, it’s fair that I thought that. But also might be why I didn’t win. I feel like you need to really be like, we all care why I’m running. We all care why I’m here. I’m important. But I feel like you kind of took that route with your speech 

Hayley  10:57
You know what, as I would hope that I would. I need to stand too. All right, because that does feel right. I didn’t remember any of this until you found it and just looking at it. It’s so weird. All of these notes, because obviously we know we wrote it, but it was such a different lifetime ago that it’s like I wrote this. I’m crazy, but I love myself.

Becca  11:21
Seriously the same energy as back then.

Hayley  11:27
Wow, I love it. Good for us. Okay, here goes nothing. I am just putting myself in that moment again. Hi, my name is Hayley Smith-Rose. And I want to be your freshman class. President. Here are some pretty hardcore reasons why you should vote for me hardcore. That was kind of like a trending word then. Okay. Yeah. Number one. I’m a social person. I love people. And that’s pretty legit. Number two, I’m a ridiculously amazing multitasker. And I know how to get things done. I was totally trying to copy you on that one. I feel

Becca  12:03
No, it’s important for a president to multitask. Let’s think we were just all multitasking. Okay.

Hayley  12:07
And number three, I’m part of the Quad Threat family which is reason enough to vote for me

Becca  12:15
You were so loyal 

Hayley  12:18
You know what if there’s one thing I am it’s a loyal bitch. I will say that and I has remained Okay. Last but not least, if I can promise you anything as President, I promise to listen to every student’s views. I’ll also push for more school dances and more student activities. I’m also open to any suggestions you have that paragraph is sweet and it’s titled and we’re living for it. So remember to vote Jane Doe for vice president Jane Dover. Howard for Secretary and me Hayley Smith-Rose for President. Thank you. 

Becca  12:54
Claps of hundreds of students.

Hayley  12:56
CHEERING APPLAUSE although I don’t know that that actually happened to me. Yeah, balloons falling from the ceiling

Becca  13:03
literally MC Hammer running out on stage with Too Legit to Quit playing like it is a crazy night. Actually it was definitely like 1pm or something you remember. Do you remember that day?

Hayley  13:15
I do. I do. I was so nervous but not, I guess, maybe that’s why I am in the job I am in now. Because like I thrive off just being weird in front of a bunch of people. And I think that was how I felt like I was nervous. But I was like, No, I got this. I was way too confident.

Becca  13:32
You were perfect amount of confidence. It was amazing.

Hayley  13:37
I have no regrets about the delivery of the speech. I do remember it and I remember that auditorium. Maybe just because I’ve had so many experiences in that auditorium, I got hypnotized in that auditorium

Becca  13:48
that frickin hypnotist. oh my god

Hayley  13:50
I was violated. Not actually – I shouldn’t say that. Because that’s serious.  

Becca  13:58
You had to like go out in the audience. I’m pretty sure. 

Hayley  14:01
Someone had to like kiss somebody else. And I was like,

Becca  14:07
I remember those people and them kissing in front of everyone. I’m gonna bring that up at the reunion. Who was the weird hypnotist who did that? 

Hayley  14:17
Man I don’t know

Becca  14:19
I mean, going into a group of teenagers and telling them to do weird things under their subconscious is a little uncomfortable

Hayley  14:29
Not an activity for high school. I feel like they also did that in my college and they just felt more appropriate in college. Yeah, we’re out here under 18 and you’re just like hypnotizing us. I don’t. I don’t know about that.  

Becca  14:42
I was in the audience watching you and I remember wanting to like break the spell. But you were in it. You were there. You were ready.  

Hayley 14:50
Yeah, it worked. It worked on me.

Becca  14:52
Did we read the speeches in the auditorium or the cafeteria?

Hayley  15:00
Oh my gosh my memory was the auditorium. So that’s the same one, you know, the hypnotism that was performed, my senior class play, a lot of nice moments, arguably. I’d say this was a nice moment. Just the hypnotist was weird

Becca  15:17
Did we make shirts if I remember right? 

Hayley  15:21
I’m sure we did because we used to make shirts for everything

Becca  15:26
Justin Timberlake concert? Need a shirt. Cheetah Girls? Need a shirt. Last day of summer? Need a shirt. We would make like glitter paint shirt called puffy? Is that what you call it? We’d go to AC Moore right near your house. Find like whatever color shirt we needed for that.

Hayley  15:45
Just Gilden plain ass shirt and we would paint all over it and usually get too excited and smudge it before it fully dried and we’d be wearing them to concerts and events and of course the election. Of course, I’m sure we had T shirts.

Becca  15:59
I think I saw a note here that we did. So that just explains so much. I wonder if I could find the shirt 

Hayley  16:10
Dude if you could find the shirts I’d be shocked. I’d be shocked if you found that because that’s a whole artifact. We’ll see. We did the speeches, and the same day, later that day was the vote and I feel like it was pretty quickly moving after that we found out we did not win we didn’t win. If  that wasn’t abundantly clear by our personalities.

Becca  16:29
We both had the confidence of mediocre white men just to be able to completely rule the school

Hayley  16:37
And it was all white men who won

Becca 16:42
Literally all men 

Hayley  16:51
Oh, we say men they’re literally like 13 year old boys. They did look like man. What was in the water in Nashua?

Becca  16:55
There’s something going on from that city. Oh my goodness.

Hayley  17:00
There was a lot going on, and if you won freshman year in 2006 Nashua High School North, you know  who you are. Why were you looking like a man? 

Becca  17:07
Oh my God. Are we really like we’re calling them out?

Hayley  17:11
I’m not gonna say their names but they know who they are. Thank God I didn’t win because I would still be the president.

Becca  17:23
You would still be in Nashua planning the reunion and like you would have spent the last 12 years planning the reunion

Hayley  17:29
That’s actually real talk. Thank God we don’t have to be the ones planning this reunion. In retrospect, like if we had won this, I guess we would have had to win senior year as well. But we would have to be in charge of the reunion and it would be a different affair.

Becca  17:43
I can see there being like a secondary, you know, life path that could have gone down where I won. The Secretary convinced my parents that it was not okay for them to pull me out of Nashua and I needed to stay because I had a job to roll. I had a role in the school. Right so I kind of regret not winning because I might not have been dragged to a different high school.

Hayley  18:07
Oh, that’s sad. No, no regrets.

Becca  18:10
I have a note here that I think is October 6. So the next day 

Hayley  18:15
Oh, yes. We know the day because it is on the poster October 5 2006. It was a Thursday.

Becca  18:21
This was a note you wrote to me the day after. It’s pretty wholesome. Would you like to read it or read it? . This is Hayley on October 6 just recapping what happened. Oprah! Oh my god, we lost, at least we lost together. I thought I’d be more sad than I actually am. What makes me feel worse is people going I’m so sorry. Oh, well. There’s always next time. Quad Threat for life.

Hayley  18:50
It was not for life. It was not for life at all. We stopped being friends with those girls pretty soon after.

Becca  18:57
I know right? I am so pumped for Saturday. Jane said oh, I don’t know if we want to read I actually read it.

Hayley  19:07

You can read it. Okay, we’ll unpack but you can read

Becca  19:09
I am so pumped for Saturday. It’s going to be amazing. I feel like such an idiot for saying no to Corey. Jane said he was wicked sad about it after school today. I might change my mind but I don’t know. So don’t say anything to anyone. We’ll see what happens after my party. OMFG Senora distracts other students and shows a lack of respect on my progress report. What a bitch. Everyone was commenting on my I love Oprah shirt. It was awesome. Love, Dr. Phil.

Hayley  19:39
Why did we call ourselves Oprah and Dr. Phil? Was it just because of our love and admiration for those people? I can’t even tell you like I love Dr. Phil is so much to this day.

Becca  19:50
You’ve literally been on his show.

Hayley  19:52
I know that sounds like way cooler than it was. I was in his virtual audience though. And that was so fun and cool. And I love Dr. Phil, but anywho, so remind me who Senora was. She was our Spanish teacher and she had it out for me. We didn’t vibe. Why do I remember so much about this woman? I do feel a little bad talking about her because I’m pretty sure my memory serves me right. She had a bit of a mental break. Yeah, she had to leave so I do hope she’s doing well now but at the time let’s unpack the Corey situation. First of all, it’s a name change I would never date a Corey, let’s make that abundantly clear that I would never date a Corey and I did not even then. So that’s a name change. This was a situationship I had with a young man.

Becca  20:48
That’s a good way to explain it.

Hayley  20:50
I don’t know any other way to say we never dated

Becca  20:54
He and I were on the same bus. So that was my connection to him. And I think you and I became closer because I would get intel. Yeah. How he was feeling he would tell me every day on the bus. Like, hey, like how’s Haley? Like he would ask about you and I had to deal with the heartbreak when you dumped him blah,

Hayley  21:11
I didn’t dump him though. That’s the thing. Like we were this was like, I’m 14. Okay, I don’t know what the like I’m doing and like we never dated. I was not ready to date anyone. No. Need to know like, know where to go with that. So I think that was really the issue was not human personnel. I felt like an idiot for saying no to him. He asked me to be his girlfriend. I think that’s what I’m referring to this. I think

Becca  21:35
you’re right.

Hayley  21:36
I wasn’t ready to be a girlfriend, anyone for dealing? I don’t know anything about anything.

Becca  21:41
Well, he was also the new kid. So what we didn’t really know much about him. It was a lot of mystery, a lot of like, for an earthing his past getting to know him and his friends. And if

Hayley  21:52
he had asked me to be his girlfriend in October, like I couldn’t have even known him for more than a month.

Becca  21:57
I mean, we were basically dating. So how are you going to have another relationship?

Hayley  22:02
All my love and energy and tobacco? Like, once we

Becca  22:05
once we lost the election? I feel like you and I were just like, well, we’re two ships alone on this world. So we got to stick together.

Hayley  22:12
Exactly. And that’s why we’re here together today.

Becca  22:15
We have not left each other side.

Hayley  22:16
Oh my gosh.

Becca  22:17
So this was, this was a moment in time for us. Like after the election, I think we had a lot of plans for how our life was going to go as the leaders. And then when we didn’t achieve our dream, it felt pretty like damaging

Hayley  22:33
It did, but I will say this. By the next day, I picked up the pieces faster than I would have expected myself to. Like I didn’t seem that bothered by it. Unless I maybe wasn’t just trying to show how bothered I was in a No, you were

Becca  22:49
like a very resilient person. And that continues to this day

Hayley  22:56
there’s one thing about me, I’ll take that

Becca  22:58
resilience. And I think with our friends that, you know, maybe they also had their own struggle losing and it tore us apart in a way. Yeah, but not overnight. It wasn’t like the next day we didn’t talk to him. Right.

Hayley  23:11
So between the two Janes, we did remain friends with for quite a bit. The other one just kind of fell off. I don’t think there was a falling out. I think there’s just you know how it goes. Right? Yeah. But I think that it’s important to dissect more of the number we’ll call her Jane number one, because she’s number one in our heart and number one our soul. And we talked about her a bit in the last episode, she is who we were referencing in terms of that breakup, that AIM disaster, so she’ll be a recurring character. And with that being said, God, I hope she goes to the reunion.

Becca  23:47
How are we going to force her to go? We need her to be there.

Hayley  23:51
I like the word force because that’s where I’m at. And I think we should she lives close enough to the area so I would think she would go I will get her a limo. I will. I was gonna say I pick her up but you want to do that?

Becca  24:05
I mean, there are several people I want to just like order limos. Yeah, just to ensure that they’ll be there. Like how do we know if Corey is going?

Hayley  24:12
Okay, you know what, let’s unpack him just a little bit farther Corey. I hate calling him that – sorry to all the Coreys out there. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to offend any Coreys but like just not for me. I have spoken to him since high school like he’s someone who I’ve kept in moderate touch with if you will. This year, he messaged me and told me he was going to be in Portland and mind you he doesn’t live nearby. So big deal. He was coming to visit and he ghosted me when it came time to come to town. We were going to meet up in everything in this year 2022. I was gonna be able to ask him all the hard hitting questions because I actually haven’t seen him since high school. We’ve kept up and whatnot, and he ghosted. And now I just even more so need him to be at the reunion so I can follow up on that as well.

Becca  25:04
Well, he needs to prove to you that he’s not just avoiding you. I mean, come on.

Hayley  25:12
What’s crazy is he messaged me and was like, I’m gonna be in town. Do you want to meet up? And I was like, yes. When? Where? Nothing.

Becca  25:18
He hasn’t reached out to me because you know, he’s been back in New Hampshire.

Hayley  25:24
I believe his family moved to Maine actually. Oh, my God. Yeah. Not to really just like put all his business out there. But I think his family is in Maine now, which is where I live and I think he visit sometimes. Never have I seen them. Never have I seen Korean. Korea’s been out of the house for the past 12 years. That’s so so he is someone I’d love to chat with at the reunion for sure. And I think there’s just many people we can ask, maybe, you know, why didn’t you vote for us?

Becca  25:54
That is such a savage question.

Hayley  25:57
When are we gonna see these people again, at 40 years old? I’m gonna ask now, because I might not make it to 40

Becca  26:05
Should we bring this?

Hayley  26:06
Let’s make copies and put them up around the reunion.

Becca  26:09
And I’m getting a quad threat tattoo like on my arm, that’s gonna say just like your full name. just

Hayley  26:16
I’m actually not against a quad threat tattoo because or even though I don’t remember it as vividly now, judging by the speeches, we were very dedicated to it.

Becca  26:30
I mean, the amount of loyalty and just like passion that you can hear, especially in your speech. Mine was clearly lacking the confidence that you had.

Hayley  26:39
No, I think there was just a little trauma in yours, Becca.

Becca  26:42
I’m like, Hey, like, I know, you don’t care. I know you don’t

Hayley  26:46
I know I have OCD. But like, can you just vote for me?

Becca  26:54
And I’m like, if you’re cool, you’ll vote for my friends. But like they are not as important like me.

Hayley  26:59
Yeah. Like none of us are even that cool. Yeah. I mean, we, it was a time it was a time and again, I’d relive it over and over again. Because the laughs that it’s giving me at 30 It didn’t ruin my life. There’s a note that you pulled up here. I will just read a few sentences because the others are just so important. But this must have been right before the election because I said oh yes, tomorrow the quad threat is going to own Oh, in party this weekend. Whoop, whoop. PS meet us in the school it’s going down we were really going through a young jock phase. That time was very popular at that time. And that leads us into a perfect area of time which was the garage parties. My daddy’s those were unlike any party you’ve ever been to if you’re listening and you think you’ve ever been to a rager like this I’m sorry come again. Completely sober, completely good, clean fun. I think that there’s so much to talk about in terms of the parties we had. Let’s do it. Quad threat for life?

Becca  28:13
Quad Threat for life.

Hayley  28:15
If you like what you hear make sure you follow us on all social media Becca tell them where they can find us

Becca  28:21
Our Instagram handle is fever dream diaries. Our tick tock is fever dream diaries pod and if you want to email us, you can always send us a message at fever dream diaries@gmail.com

Hayley  28:34
Send us all your deepest darkest secrets. We would love to read them we would love to connect with you on the spiritual level and also on our social media. We’re going to be posting all sorts of content relating to the episode see all embarrassing photos of us see relics from the past that will bring you back to a simpler time

Becca  28:55
A time before Instagram when MySpace ruled the world

Hayley  29:01
A time we all yearn for. So be sure to follow us and if you really like what you hear yes a freaking review somewhere would you? If you think that someone else in this world would like this podcast, you show us some love so we can get spread to them. Apple Music Spotify wherever you’re listening to podcasts leave us a five star review.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

reunion, speeches, election, high school, read, feel, Becca, secretary, regrets, multitasker, vote, quad, freshman class, shirt, fever dream, poster, live, parties, remember, Nashua, nostalgia, Hayley